


Hearty Durians

by TwoHeadedDragon



Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: Alcohol, Beedle ALWAYS has your back, But seriously that jerk Farosh made me lose so many bows into Lake Floria, Drunk Link (Legend of Zelda), F/M, I bet hungover Link is a pain in the butt, I just put the M rating bc idk how this works and I'd rather be too careful, Link's a happy drunk, Post-Breath of the Wild, Post-apocalyptic Hyrule must have more alcohol in it than just Noble Pursuits, Smug Zelda is smug, That's it though, kissing!, pretty tame except for the drankin', silliness for silliness' sake, stables have rooms because it's just weird otherwise, zelink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:02:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25797103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwoHeadedDragon/pseuds/TwoHeadedDragon
Summary: In which Link gets shitfaced in the name of duty.A writer cannot live on angst alone, so I took a lil break to write something goofy.
Relationships: Link/Zelda (Legend of Zelda)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 122





	Hearty Durians

Link sat in the stable’s common room, staring at the table in front of him. His hands were splayed flat on it, and he wasn’t sure if he was keeping the table down or keeping himself up, but in any event he knew that moving his hands was probably not a good idea. They had been traveling so Zelda could see for herself, with her own human eyes, the current state of her kingdom. Right now, they were in no hurry to identify themselves as the people who had vanquished the Calamity, content to feed the rumors without claiming it themselves. They both needed time. But word spread fast in a land connected by travelers and merchants. They had started by heading south, across the Field, past the now-stalled Guardians that made them both close their eyes, in memory or thanks he wasn’t sure. They went out of their way to visit stables, because the stables were the nodes in the system that kept Hyrule alive and he wanted her to see them. When they had arrived at the Lakeside Stable in Faron after a long day of travel, he had been recognized immediately, because of course he had.

“Link! Welcome back!”  
“We’ve heard news out of Central Hyrule. Have you come through there?”

And this time when Link and Zelda told the story and kept their involvement as vague as possible, it hadn’t fooled anyone.

When he was still wet behind the ears from the Shrine of Resurrection, he had thought the entire province was mad because here, under this jungle’s blanket of damp, the people winked and pretended dragons were just a myth. That asshole Farosh came through here at least once a day, sometimes twice in an afternoon, but they still said to travelers, “Oh yes, there’s that legend about the Shadow on the Waters of Lake Floria! Isn’t it mysterious! Wonder what _that_ could mean!” Finally, he had caught the mischievous sparkle in Cima the stable hand’s eye when she had fed him the same old line.

Yet for all they pretended otherwise, they were closer to the old lore here. They knew the Goddess Farore. They knew her preposterous, hateful, algae-colored, lightning-flinging asshole of a dragon. And they kept alive the legends of her Hero. Somehow, they had clocked Link a mile away. So, when he and a radiant blonde girl had appeared confirming news of the Calamity’s defeat and the dawn of a new era, the people had known. They had known and there had been silence. There had been quiet prayers of thanksgiving. There had been hymns to Hylia and the Three that caused Zelda to murmur to him, “they remember,” her eyes shining with grief and hope and love. And after one respectful silence had stretched on quite long enough, someone had shouted “Hey, Anly! I’ll stand the first round!” And everyone had laughed and the stable owner had laughed and he pulled out a bottle of some fermented durian stuff that stripped your nostrils and tasted like old socks until you’d had enough of it. And Link had certainly had enough of it.

After the first round, Link and Zelda had offered to buy the next, but no one would hear of it. At some point, after a drink or two, Zelda had excused herself claiming exhaustion from the road, laughing and grinning like the young girl she was, when she wasn’t a hundred, and winning the affection of her people with the twinkle in her eye. It did her good to be appreciated. Link wanted nothing more than to follow her, but it wouldn’t do for both of them to leave when this celebration was in their honor.

And that was how he found himself drinking heavily in a room full of strangers that weren’t strangers anymore. Because when a drink is bought for you because you saved the world, how do you turn that down? He had tried to keep track, at first. He lost count after three. He stopped being able to count after four. Or five? A saturated contentment had engulfed him though, and he decided he didn’t particularly care. Finally, he and Beedle and the stable owner were the only ones left in the main room. Link nursed the final drink that had been placed before him as its buyer left with a wave and a smirk. He knew it was a bad idea, but all he could focus on was that it would be rude not to finish it, because he was the Hero and she was the Princess and they needed the people to love them if they were going to piece a nation together from the ruins and he was nothing if not faithful to his duty and somehow that meant he had to keep drinking. He tossed it back in a gulp to get it over with, closing his eyes and grimacing. Meanwhile, the liquor had made Beedle uncharacteristically earnest.

“I never doubted you, you know. The first time I met you, I remember wondering how a scrap of a kid like you had survived on the road alone, without a caravan. I knew then you must have steel in you, not just on your back. But Goddess! I had no idea what you were capable of.” They put their hand on Link’s and Link jumped slightly, having momentarily forgotten he had hands. Beedle looked him in the eyes, slightly unsteady but gaze unwavering. “You may be my best customer, Link. But I am lucky to consider you a friend.”

Link blinked back tears, touched. “And I, you, my friend,” he said, clasping Beedle’s hand tightly. “And I, you.” He paused. “Even if you never stock enough arrows.”

That startled a laugh out of the lanky merchant who swatted Link in the shoulder as they stood to find their own bed.

“Walk you to your room?” Beedle asked.

“Probably a good idea.” Link rose with a pat of thanks on the table for having held him up for so long. He stood still for a moment, waiting for the room to stop moving.

“How much of that stuff did you have, O Great Hero?” Beedle poked him.

Link’s eyes narrowed. “Absolutely no idea,” he said. “Lots.”

Beedle laughed again and they managed to get to the door of Link and Zelda’s rented room. To Link’s utter horror, Beedle knocked lightly.

“SHHHHHHH You will wake her UP!” His whisper was louder than the knock had been. Beedle rolled their eyes. Zelda came to the door almost immediately. She hadn’t been sleeping. She relaxed when she saw them and opened the door so Link could take a cautious step into the room, his hand thrown out to find the door jamb. Beedle wished her luck and bowed a little to her as they left, which brought color to Zelda’s cheeks.

“Hi…” Link began. He was distracted almost immediately by the light on her hair, the feel of the air on his skin, every bird and bug singing in the jungle, and a million other things. His eyes suddenly focused on her face. With excruciating precision, he said, “I. Am. Extremely. Drunk.”

She closed the door as she raised an eyebrow. She said, “I can see that,” and the dryness in her voice was the Tabantha tundra and the Gerudo Desert and then suddenly he was sitting on the ground and he wasn’t sure how that had happened. He leaned heavily on one hand, seeking stability from the floor. He peered up at her.

“Now I’m down here??” He seemed indignant. “YOU left me, you _traitor_.” He pointed a finger at her, squinting in accusation. “I killed the Calamity for you,” he said biting off every word. “And you...” He called her the worst thing he could think of in this moment. “You are _sober_.”

She crossed her arms. “Pretty sure it was me that threw the Calamity back to hell. Anyway, I’ve drunk that stuff before. I know better.” She was so smug and he hated her and he loved her and Goddess was the room ever going to stop moving around him or was he stuck like this forever. He had been right; the final drink had been a big mistake.

“Huuuuge,” he groaned.

She was fascinated, coming to sit on the floor across from him, peering at him. This was novel. She realized, perversely, that her fingers itched for a pen and her field notebook.

“What’s huge?” she asked him.

He looked at her. He looked at her and he actually giggled. She hadn’t known it was possible for him to giggle. The giggles seemed to have instigated a few hiccups, which had the unfortunate side effect of jostling his insides, a state of affairs that Link had not anticipated and did not particularly care for. He was starting to feel as though he might be made entirely of liquid. It moved in him, in the tips of his fingers, in his belly, in his head.

“Is this what it feels like to be one of those gigantic chus?” he asked her.

She blinked. The snort that erupted from her nose was hardly princess-like, but once she had started laughing, she couldn’t stop. And, although Link thought perhaps he should be annoyed that she was laughing at his expense, he was just so happy to see her happy that he started laughing too. They were both breathless and giddy, one-hundred-year-old teenagers recently relieved of the burden of the weight of the world, sitting on the floor in the middle of the night, in a stable in the jungle, in the kingdom they had saved from apocalypse. Neither of them took this moment for granted. Still laughing, Zelda leaned forward across the distance between them, cupped his face in her hands and kissed him. Her lips were soft and she tasted like the warmth of summer, and the crisp Hebra snow, and a little bit like durian. Link closed his eyes and leaned into her, a flower turning toward his sun. She kissed him ever so gently at first, smiling against his mouth at his little intake of breath when she darted her tongue out to invite his lips to open wider. She held his head a little tighter, firmly keeping him in place, and fully claimed his mouth with her own. Link was utterly at her mercy and he knew she knew it. She sat back on her heels smirking and he sighed softly.

“Stay here,” she said, kissing his forehead as she rose. As she left the room, Link scooted closer to the wall and leaned his back against it. Being kissed like that would have made him dizzy under normal circumstances, but he was still undeniably drunk. The floor was moving a little unpredictably, but the wall behind him was solid and that helped. Zelda returned in a moment with a huge glass of water which he glared at.

“Trust me,” she said with a wry smile. “Although, I’m afraid tomorrow won’t be pleasant either way.” He took it from her and drank it. Who was he to question the Wisdom of the Goddesses.

She took the empty glass from him and then sat comfortably on the floor between his legs. She leaned against his chest and pulled one of his arms around her.

“Did you have a good time at least?” she asked. “I’m sorry I didn’t stay. It was…overwhelming.”

He looked down at her, seeing superimposed the desperate and haunted princess of the past, the powerful Goddess that saved Hyrule, and the amazing, vulnerable, beautiful woman who laughed with him on the floor and kissed him hard enough to make his head spin.

“Yes. It was a good night. These people…they are so grateful. Not just to you and me, although I will admit it’s nice to get a little recognition every now and again.” He let out a little _oof_ when she shouldered into his chest with another snort. “They’re grateful because they're alive. They are so hopeful, Zelda. You would have enjoyed getting to know them tonight, but it’s ok that you didn’t. There’s time.” A pause, and he sighed. “You know they love you. Princess.”

She was quiet and the title hung in the air. “They love you,” she corrected him. “They don’t know me.”

“Yeah, they know me, and I guess they like me, though…apparently getting the Hero of Legend drunk off his ass is a _hilarious_ pastime in Faron now. And that doesn’t seem very nice. But they will. Know you I mean. But they love you now. Because you’re…you,” he finished lamely. She smiled, not wanting to argue. Wanting to believe him. The silence stretched between them for a few moments, and they were aware of each other’s breath and the beating of his heart.

After a few moments of silence he said, “They were betting. On how many drinks I could handle. They thought I didn’t notice.”

“Oh? And who won? I should like to congratulate them in the morning.” Goddess, she was smug.

“I won. Obviously. I’m the hero, that’s my job.” She rolled her eyes, but he loved her anyway. His eyes fell shut and he groaned a little. He felt like he was losing track of his brain. “Every time my cup was empty, then it was suddenly full again, but I knew I needed to drink it all because what if they were offended. And then someday that might make your…um…Princessing harder, and...” He trailed off because she was laughing at him again.

“Princessing. Right. So, all of this,” she gestured at him, encompassing his current state. “This was all for me, was it?”

He reached a hand up to tilt her chin to look at him. He pinned her with the light from his blue eyes, the light that illuminated the darkness, that had kept her fighting all those years.

“It’s always all for you, Zelda. Always.” He meant it, of course, but he was also gratified to see that he had rendered her momentarily speechless. He raised his hand and dragged it across his face, feeling numbness where his lips should be. “’S’there a bed?”

Zelda unfolded herself fluidly from the floor and held out a hand to help him up. He spoke what he was thinking for once. “You are always so graceful,” he said, and she smiled down at him. His grin widened as a sudden memory flashed through his mind. “Wait, except maybe not when you run.”

“What.” She pulled her hand back and put it on her hip. That memory had been a frightening one when he had first discovered it, flooding him with the knowledge that if he had been just a moment later, he would have lost her to Yiga assassins. But with time to come to terms with it…

“I’m just saying maybe we should go for a run sometime and I can give you some pointers!” She huffed to the bed, clearly trying not to laugh.

“You’re the one who left me that memory!” He fully expected the pillow that flew across the room. He tried to rise from the floor to go join her, but when he started moving he found that was going to be more difficult that he'd expected. Zelda regarded him from the bed, one eyebrow arched, arms folded across her chest.

“Help?” he said, turning those bright blue orbs on her again.

She drew the word out eloquently. “Nope.”

He gathered every scrap of dignity he had left and announced, “I don’t like beds anyway.” He grabbed the pillow and lay down where he was, sighing as he relaxed into sleep almost immediately. The last thing he heard was Zelda losing her battle with her laughter.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


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